


Drinking with you.

by flashwitch



Series: Jonathon Coulton Song Fic Files [11]
Category: Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Angst, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-22
Updated: 2011-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-27 19:19:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/299176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashwitch/pseuds/flashwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>11 in JoCo song files. Marcone muses on Harry. It's set post Ghost story, so spoilers, sweetie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drinking with you.

**Author's Note:**

> The next installment of the JoCo Songfic files. I own nothing. Based on the songs 'Drinking with you' and 'When you're gone'. It's written from Marcone's perspective. POST GHOST STORY so spoiler alert.

* * *

Only a moment ago, we had nothing but time. Everything lasted forever, and you were all mine. I know it's only a dream. That I'm deluding myself.

Maybe you were never really mine.

But that one day, when we were together. That one perfect moment, Under the Pines. But I knew I'd be losing you. I didn't think I'd keep losing you, however. I lost you that day, the First of May. We danced around each other, and my heart broke into pieces. We never spoke anymore. I missed that most of all. I'd sacrifice that one night of broken perfection for our friendship back.

And then you died. I folded my heart up small, and found somewhere to hide it. I did what I could to help your friends. Your Miss Murphy. That apprentice girl. I thought that was it. That you were gone. I tore pieces off myself, never expecting you to know. I saw it coming. I always knew that I'd be losing you. Your lifestyle doesn't exactly lend itself to longevity. But that doesn't make it okay. It doesn't mean I was ready.

Some things you always remember. Some things you always forget. But I have no way to change things now, and no room for regret. I have done some distasteful things in my life, some of them to you, and I know you disapprove. You've changed me, you know. I'm... less... than what I was. But whatever's left, belongs to you.

I thought it was over. You were dead.

But of course, you couldn't just leave it at that. You couldn't just be normal for one time in your life.

You came back.

You haunted your friends, but you didn't come near me. I didn't know why. It was proof. My heart, it was already broken, but it tore again that day. You were a ghost, and hope died that day too.

And then you were gone again.

I cried that day, for the first time in a very long time.

But of course, you just had to be contrariwise, didn't you?

* * *

You walked out of a snow storm. I was... caught by surprise. It's not an easy thing for a man like me to admit. But you were back. Alive again, and I let myself pretend it was forever. I thanked God that you sold your soul to that Frozen Bitch instead of to me.

I don't see you often, and when I do, you're cold. Cold as winter, cold as ice. Cold as Her. And each time, you seem less. You're breakable now, and I don't know how to treat you. I called you Harry and you actually flinched. I try to be overly formal now, and it works for the most part, but it physically hurts me. This distance between us.

I pretend that I don't notice when you're next to me. And maybe it's just me, but sometimes I think I see you notice me too. How did we come to this? It used to be easy between us. We could forget our roles, but now? You're all role. You can't see yourself as anything but Knight to the Frozen Bitch. I wish I could just ask you. Just go up to you and say: "I know a place not far from here, that's quiet, dark and small. When we're finished here, I think I may want a beer. How about you?"

It would be nice to go out drinking with you.

We've danced around each other long enough. We should know where we stand. But we tossed out the rulebook, and now it's hard. I shiver as I wonder what it would be like to hold your hand. We've fucked each other, if you'll excuse the vulgarity. But I can't touch you for fear you'd break.

I wait for something to happen, something to change. Maybe I should just make it happen now.

It really would be nice to go out drinking with you.

**Author's Note:**

> There should be a new installment to the series soon. I have two Christmas fics on the go in this verse, and I will hopefully have them up by xmas.


End file.
